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Can people really change?

April 8, 2010

Can people really change? Well, can they?  I woke up with that thought sitting right in the middle of my forehead, right between my eyes.  What an odd thought to wake up with.  And different.  To be honest, usually I wake up thinking, ‘okay, get up, come on, you can’t lay around all day, it’s not so bad,’ and then I haul myself out of bed and stumble around for a few minutes.

But this morning I woke up thinking ‘can people really change?’  The thought propelled me into my sweats and down the street to my local cafe, where I sat in the sun for a little while and wrote a bit.  I thought to myself, ‘well, I’ve changed’ and then I second-guessed it, and thought ‘yeah, but a couple of shots and a line’ and I’d be back to my old s*&%.

Then I remembered.  I’m not the one who affected the real change.  I experienced a moment of grace.  And now, if I do my best to live by spiritual principles and follow a few simple (but not easy) directions, I’m able to maintain that state of grace.  I no longer have to fall down, go bump, and land in the gutter.

Too lofty for ya?  Sorry.  Told you a couple of days ago I might talk about God.

Also, this morning, I was interviewed.  On the radio.  About the book.  That was a new experience. I felt nervous going in, but the deejay who interviewed me, Tom Randell at KWHQ Kenai, Alaska, turned out to be a great guy and a great interviewer.  He made me feel totally comfortable and before I knew it I was talking about the book, and my life, in the street life, over the airwaves.  Yikes.

Well, with any luck, I better get used to it.

Then I looked at my dashboard on wordpress, which tells me how many people have read, what the top posts were, etc.  It also tells me what search picked up my top post.  Let me give you the statistics.

The top post was — Young pussy is worth more $money$ — now, there’s a reason for that title, and if you read the post you’ll see why.

And the top search that people (and I use the term “people” loosely) were using to find it — underage pussy

Do y0u want to throw up?  Good.  That’s how I felt. 

Then, I thought, ‘Good, I’m glad they ran into my blog.  I’m glad that for a moment, at least, they were confronted with a little reality.’  Who am I talking about ?  Those people who were plugging in the search ‘underage pussy.’  That’s who.

And then I thought, ‘I wish there was some sort of spiritual dye marker to tag these f*&^%$@, so I could just take a gun, walk up to them, and blow their faces right off.’ 

Yep, that’s what I thought.  Good old, spiritual, maintaining a state of grace me.  Ha! I guess I have a long way to go.

Do people really change?  I hope so.  But it’s definitely one day at a time.

Love & Perseverance

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