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Over the Edge: Stories from the Street Life

Excerpt Paper Game: Episode 3 (1981)

And then I realize. Not all of us are the same. Some people lack something which is intrinsic in others. This is what it means when they say someone is heartless.  They’ve ruined their heart. It doesn’t feel any more and all that’s left when you look into their eyes is the flat water of their retina and a color that’s only paint.

A color that’s only paint. Hmmmm

What does that mean? Let me explain.

That line describes the moment when I looked at someone I thought I knew, but then I saw who they really were.  And it wasn’t pretty.  It may have happened to you too, if you’ve been out in the traffic at all.

Yes, it hurt.  But Thank God it happened.  If it hadn’t, who knows how things might have ended for me.  When I look at the big picture it’s just another example of a loving God in my life saving me from my delusions and myself.  That’s why I made that line the title of the Blog.

So. What is the Blog about?

Hold on.  It takes a minute to answer. There’s a little history that goes with the answer.

A long time ago, when I was a little girl, my voice was taken from me.  After that I lived only as a vessel for others.  Even tried to beg, borrow or steal their power.  Well, now I have a voice.

I want to say I’ve taken it back but that’s not true.  God has restored it to me.

Most of the women who were out there in that life with me are dead now.  They were either killed or finally, they just plummeted into the dark and self destructed.

I’m still here, left to tell the tale.

Sort of dramatic, I know, but I often feel that way and it gives me strength.

I want to connect with others. I want to write this Blog to support my book.  Yes, I want to be published.  Of course I want to be successful.  I’m not ashamed of that.

I welcome comments. They don’t have to be what I want to hear.  Because what I want to hear is not always what I need to hear.  I don’t need people to always say, “Oh that’s cool,” and agree with everything.

I had a boyfriend like that and every time those words came out of his mouth I knew he was going to go do some f&%#**-&p  s^%#@ behind my back.

In the end, what I’m really writing this blog for is to hang out, kick it, chop it up, shoot the s$%!, and all that other good stuff we do when we are in relationship with others.

And by that I mean a give and take, a back and forth, a discussion, sometimes heated, sometimes loving.  Sometimes we even have to go back and make amends.  But I believe it’s what we’re in this world for.  To be with each other. 

I’m here to live.  I’m here to examine life.  I’m here to be free.

Love & Perseverance.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Ginger permalink
    March 1, 2010 10:25 am

    Kate, THANK YOU for not letting me vanish into the sea of humanity – people come and people go throughout our (brief) existence on this physical plane and you have kept tabs on me no matter how silent I have been. God Bless You – NAMASTE – and give MAGIC a big hug from his Aunt Ginger ok?

    Seeya soon Kate, you look FABULOUS Dahling !! xoxo

    G.

  2. Jerry permalink
    March 13, 2010 4:27 am

    Kate,
    We’ve all been there and a lot more are headed there. Readers will not flock to cries of despair. Think about what interests you and what you want to know more abou. Write about that.

    If despair is all that comes up put that despair into another person and write fiction. Maybe a good person (describe how they are good) in a bad situation (describe how it is bad).

    Jerry

    • March 13, 2010 6:35 am

      Hi Jerry,

      Mmmm, do you think that what I’ve written in “About” is about despair? Because for me, that wasn’t what it was. I learned a lot from that person – the hard way. For me it was a moment of seeing the truth about someone, which, even if sometimes a little shocking, is always a good thing. Could it be that maybe it sounds a little sappy to you? Hard for me to get that much objectivity. Maybe someone else will join in on that. But it is interesting that you talk about despair. Because Facebook, internet etc., seemed so impersonal today. I was feeling discouraged. You know I’ve come a long way, but I’m sure I have a long way to go and sometimes my confidence falters. What am I passionate about? Life, relationships, finding out the truth, observing that flow of life around me. What else? God, history, anthropology, movies, books, the list goes on. Am I allowed to write about how I encounter the world? Or is that just boring? I do want to know. But believe me I don’t walk around in a state of despair. Quite the opposite. Anyway, thanks for the comment. It lets me know that you took a look and thought about it.

  3. September 30, 2010 4:42 pm

    Hello to you too!

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